I had a nightmare last night, but it didn’t start off that way.
It was all fun and games until I saw she was drowning. I helped her on the ledge and she lay on her stomach. An excessive amount of water poured from her mouth. I massaged her back, helping the water find it’s way out. It looked like she would be OK, then a puncture wound appeared on her ribs.
Where the F did this come from? I already had enough on my hands trying to manage all the water – now this?
“You’ll be OK,” I said out loud, reassuring her as much I was reassuring myself.
“I don’t know if I’ll make it this time,” she said, “I can’t see.”
What the F?! Where did her vision go?! And what did she mean by this time; this has happened before?
I was feeling overwhelmed, but then the medics finally arrived. They put her on a stretcher and I followed them for a while to make sure she was going to be OK. I looked away for a split second and when I looked back, she was nowhere in sight. I’d lost her. What I had instead was a gnawing at the pit of my stomach, whispering I’ll never see her again.
I woke up in a panic, frantically looking for her.
Now I know, at first glance, this may not look like a nightmare. We don’t even know if she dies. But what if I said this dream is based on a true story? I don’t mean a woman actually almost drowned in front of me, mysterious wounds kept showing up, and we weren’t sure if she survived.
Creepier than that.
Come closer, kiddies…
What if I told you I know a woman, who knows a woman, who knows plenty of other women who’ve all said it was all fun and games until she saw herself drowning. She allowed herself to be weighed down by everything she’d given of herself. She lay on her stomach, water leaving her lungs like all the things she didn’t say because it was an inconvenience, out of place, or unladylike; knowing too well the ocean’s hums sound as loving as the weight of infinite waves. Mysterious wounds showing up as she tried to undue herself from the box she’d crammed herself herself into, knowing all too well it was too possessive, and she was too grand to be possessed. She said she lost pieces of herself trying to survive it. She lost sight of herself trying to leave it behind. She gathered the remains and re-planted them below the surface, preparing to do it all over again.
Well, that’s what she told the woman I know.
And it’s the scariest thing I’ve ever heard.
With Ambition + Mischief,